Tag Archive: college


The “Cool Kids Table”

Everyone remembers it. It was the one place you secretly always wanted to be. Sure, you mocked them and sneered when anyone mentioned any of the few elite who were able to be in such a group. But in your head, you always pictured yourself sitting in the circle, laughing at their inside jokes, feeling like you were somewhere that mattered – even if you did hate all the people around you. It was the acceptance, the inclusion, the sense of community, even if parts of it are fake, that was so tantalizing.

In high school, it was the bane of your existence – taunting you every chance it got, simply because you were a nobody and had nowhere to be. But does the “cool kids table” disappear when high school’s over? Of course not. Just look at yourself, think about a group of people whom you publicly detest and constantly ridicule. Does it sting when you see one of their faces in your head?┬áCan you picture the entourage together, laughing at things you say you don’t care about…but then you wonder what it is they’re actually talking about over there? That’s them. Those are the cool kids. They may not be the skinniest, the richest, the most chic or the most well-known where you’re at, but to you, they are the A-Crowd – the people to either be seen with or be weary of. And we all have them.

Don’t ask why this came on – I could explain, but (as I’m sure you would be, too,) I’m slightly ashamed at who my “cool kids” are. They are a group of people whom I’ve been warned are no good, whom I can see many as being shallow and unbalanced, but whom I still envy with everything inside of me for one reason: They have each other.

Group dynamic is not thought to be too terribly important until you are stripped of it. When we have a bunch of friends vying for our attentions, sure we want our alone time. But when you’re tossed into a place where you have no one but yourself, and if you’re lucky a close friend or two, you wish and wish that you had a backup squad. It’s hard to get through life all by yourself. Or, even if you’re not completely alone, there are limitations on individual friendships. You may be able to talk to Person A about thing 1 yet not thing 2, but you can tell Person B about thing 2 whenever you need to. And both A and B may be no good at a certain task (problem solving, algebra, etc), so when you need a hand there, you turn to Person C. To try and get through on your own is hard — it causes you to start blogs and vent to faceless, possibly non-existent┬ápeople – like me.

So, who are your cool kids? And why aren’t you one of them? What is the force that stands between you and your A-crowd membership card? This is mostly rhetorical, of course, but think about it for a while. Who are the cheerleaders to your band geek?

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The Real Deal

Well, I was considering writing a post about sex, but then I realized I don’t know you well enough to get quite that intimate just yet. Which brings up a good point – I need to make my formal introduction. =]

For starters, I have a name, but most of you can call me Kailene for now. Not that I strive for Anonymity or am afraid of stalkers, but as I writer, I’ve always found that having an pseudonym or an alias was always more exciting than your boring old name. It raises curiosity and defines character. So, I am Kailene – a random, passionate, whimsical, intelligent and quite special human being, if I do say so myself.

If you didn’t already read it somewhere else, I am a freshman in college. I’m currently studying English with a concentration in Creative Writing at Appalachian State University. For those who don’t know, App is a very beautiful school with one major drawback – it’s as cold as a witch’s ninny for 5 months out of the year. I’m sure anyone from the North can relate, however. As I said, I am concentrating in Creative Writing, which – in short – means that I want to write for a living. I have written poetry and song lyrics since I was around 8 or 9 years old, and somewhere around 11 I started writing short chapter books (at the time resembling horrid teen lit) that eventually evolved and grew longer and longer.

With the jumpstart of this past NaNoWriMo, I began writing my first dedicated novel attempt. A few different names for it have been tossed around, but for purposes of this blog, it’s titled The Emerald of Aberdeen. It’s the first in a trilogy of fantasy novels. (I know, I know – overdone right? Did I mention there were werewolves and vampires, too? But don’t worry, we’ll liven this story up with some long missed magic. Now the gangs all there!) The three novels center around a recent high school graduate, named Valencia and a charismatic werewolf she meets, named Liam. Shortly after her life is saved by Liam, Valencia discovers that a “family heirloom” left to her by her father before he died – an emerald necklace – identifies Valencia as coming from a Magickal lineage of both Sorcerers and Sorceresses (something unheard of in the Magickal world up until this point.) Valencia’s discovery of this new world and her own blood come at a critical point in time. Centuries old tensions between the aristocratic Vampires, who dwell in the castles of Europe, and the Werewolves, whom they treated like lowly abominations, have reached a peak and war that will threaten the whole of the magical world teeters on the edge. All races and people must choose their allegiances and prepare for the magical battle of the ages.

*Whew.* That there shameless plug took me quite a while to compose. That is the gist of the story, anyway. I’m about a quarter of the way into the first draft at this point in time, and the plot keeps getting more and more intricate, the world becoming more real, and the characters slowly begin to resemble actual human beings as well. As astonishing as all that is, I still have moments of wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do next. This is, after all, my first serious novel and let me tell ya – it’s scary as hell. The intricate writing process, the need to have some place to bounce ideas and the idea of gaining an audience of readers and fellow writers was the main reason I created this blog. I felt like I needed a public outlet and people to share this all with to help inspire and encourage me on days when the going gets rough.

There is, however, another purpose this blog shall fulfill. As a New Years Resolution, I decided that I wanted to learn more about the beliefs I have had for quite some time and try to seriously dedicate myself to the exploration and practice of that religion – Wicca. I know, this may sound boring, but bare with me. I first heard of Wicca when I was about 9, but I paid it little attention, as I did not fully understand what it was at that point. All I knew was that when my mother would scorn it, there was a part of me that felt there was something more to it than just the heresy she claimed. Fast-forward to the summer I’m 14. I’d lived with my dad for a year and have a summer with which to do nothing. One day, I stumble across Wicca again on the internet and decide to look it up. I spend weeks doing nothing but reading and exploring. I learn the basics – that it is an earth religion that acknowledges the God and Goddess and utilizes “witchcraft” (as the terminology is debated by some) as a similar function to prayer, in which one works with deity to influence their lives. I digress to go into much more detail right now, as I am admittedly still a stranger to Wicca and Paganism in general. However, this year I will begin my Year and a Day study before (the most likely end-result) self-initiation.

Also, expect random rants and raves on societal constructs, the inner workings of the human mind, and probably cheese of some sort. (I fancy myself a smorgasbord of opinions and a jack of all trades at times.)

So, there you have it – a formal introduction to me. I hope to be an entertaining read, if only for my scatter-brained tendencies, and to get the chance to hear from some great readers.

Allons y!

P.S. The aforementioned discussion about sex is delayed until a later date. I can assure you, that will probably come up a time or two up here. Enjoy.

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